With Elections Nearing, Trump Pulls New Plan From Ass

Though they might exude confidence, secretly, behind lock and key, and with Donald  Trump occupied with a three-hour ass kissing ceremony, watching Fox and Friends, met in private to discuss their worry over the upcoming elections. Fearful of their meeting being leaked to press, party officials took great care in finding a place that they themselves didn’t…

EPA to Review Not Dumping Nuclear Waste in Drinking Water

EPA chief administrator of the EPA Scott Pruitt wanted  to make one thing clear. As head of the EPA he had one thing  to do and  only one and he didn’t give as flying girl fart about it. “Save  the environment…Yeah, sure. What has the environment done for the Republican party,” Pruitt began in a…

LBJ’S Bathroom Reader: 10 Alternative Facts About George Washington

In this Republican infested era, the truth is relative. That is why people in Indiana have inter-married so frequently. In the spirit of no longer being shackled to the tyranny that is the truth, thanks to the vigilance of one Donald J. Trump, LBJ’s Bathroom reader has taken upon ourselves to write the history of…

Sean Spicer Denies Existence of Sean Spicer

White House Press secretary Sean Spicer issued a denial of his previous denial which he had previously denied in as formal denial, which he denied denying. It was a day of denials. During the  course of the press conference, Spicer would issue a total of 87 denials of the previous day’s denials, which he denied…

Nikki Haley Tells Joke, Walks Out of UN When No one Laughs

You will excuse US Ambassador to the UN, former South Carolina governor Nikki Haley. She’s from South Carolina and  thus is automatically behind the eight ball. I mean, South Carolina actually elected Nikki Haley. Enough said. Donald Trump thought that was enough to qualify her for representing the US in front of the rest of…

Disability Prevents Pinocchio Writing For Breitbart

Acting has a shelf life, even a boy made of wood. For Pinocchio, the writintheg was on the wall. People were starting to ask questions of the little wooden boy whose first film was all the way back  in 1940. Seventy seven years later and he still playing a young boy. That knocking you hear,…