White House Issues Public Warning: “Hot, Naked, Barely Legal Swedish Girls Turning Hapless American Patriots Socialist”

Residents of the United States will have to set their clocks back 65 years beginning on 12 AM midnight EST on 7/21/2019. At 12:01 ESTl, as per President Trump’s latest executive order, the date will be 07/21/1954.

When asked whether or not time zones would still be employed, senior advisor to the president Kellyanne Conway’s response was – “Why do you hate America so much?”

They hate America. Let’s send them back to Sweden…with a 5 week stay in the White House

The reporter was befuddled – “I don’t.’

By this time, everyone in the room could see that familiar wild-eyed look from Conway. She was either going to turn green, become much larger and all her clothes we going to fall off (something no one wanted to see) or she was going to stay as normal and get more batshit crazy.”

“You all hate America. You want the evil socialist Swedes, who the president has proof the Swedish and Norwegian governments have entered in alliance with Al Qaeda.”

The White House has put the entire nation on alert. If a tall, blonde haired blue-eyed male or female offer you money, aq place to stay, health care or sex, refuse and get in contact with your local authorities. If you are Swedish, female and under the age of 21, you are to contact the president directly.

All bra sizes will be checked i n lieu of ID.