Breaking News: President Trump Signs Reparations Deal With Russia and Shoots Mike Pompeo in the Ass With Paintball Gun

No one can say US President Donald Trump doesn’t have a sense of humor. To the contrary, if anything, his entire presidency has been one joke after another. Trump’s levity has kept the entire nation in stitches during some very turbulent times. His racist, conceptual, sexist diatribes on Twitter and on the stump have won many, many fans over.

World leaders as well.

Donny and Vlady

During a recent press conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin, where Trump signed an agreement Putin that the United States were the ones responsible for tbe Great Russian Purge of the 1930s, the Russian strong man had this to say:

“Okilh, yes. Donald very funny man. If Pat Paulson and Adolph Hitler have love chld, it would be tellDonny.”

As for the agreement signed, the United States took full responsibility for Josef Stalin led show trials of the 1 930 as well as the subsequent executions. Trump explained his reasons during the press conference –

“Vlad said his government has never killed anybody in its existence. Do you realize how long the Communist were in power and they never killed anyone. I mean on my way down here I shot Mike Pompeoin the ass with a paintball gun.”

“He is a homosexual. They go in for those type of things. Mike Pence will you that?”