With Elections Nearing, Trump Pulls New Plan From Ass

Though they might exude confidence, secretly, behind lock and key, and with Donald  Trump occupied with a three-hour ass kissing ceremony, watching Fox and Friends, met in private to discuss their worry over the upcoming elections.

Fearful of their meeting being leaked to press, party officials took great care in finding a place that they themselves didn’t want to go to. The choice came down to a San Diego Padres game or Mike Pence’s house

Pence asked his wife if his friends from the White House could come over to play. She agreed but with one non-negotiable condition. ” I don’t want that no good Donnie Trump in my house. He keeps trying to grab my p:>ssy.”


Pence assured her that was Donnie’s way of being friendly and he will put the cat out before the party began. Little was anyone aware of Donnie’s amazing ability to hear, recognize and discern whos lips the word p:>ssy escaped from.

Before anyone could ask “Did anyone remember to invite Jeff Sessions,” Trump was on the scene.


With the grace of a drunk nine hundred guerilla, mixed with a Strom Thurmond after having set through consecutive six-hour meetings with NAACP and NOW, Trump burst on the stage Pence made with his own two hands of a real-life diorama of his favorite story  Jesus Christ Superstar, shoved the Jesus aside and  assured the party that this midterm election will be  in the bank after he reveals his next tax cut.

All of Trump’s little workers quickly gathered around Jeff Sessions was let out the door to use the restroom outside.

Trump’s plan was a pure stroke of genius.

“I thought long and hard about what next can a great guy like me do. You know, I have a lot of friends who tell me I am a great guy and their friends. I have a lot of people who I shoot come up to me  and tell me “Donald, if anyone were going to shoot me on  Fifth Avenue, I am glad it was you.


Donald Trump

“But I go all over this country and I meet a lot of reasonable people, hardworking Americans who can’t by even one Buggati Veyron because they don’t make them 0 Million dollars a year. It will  release them from the hardships they have to face, like not being able to stay at Mar a Lago whenever they want. ”

“These are the lifeblood of America. As of now, the US government will pay them an incentive tax of $3 million dollars for every $30 million they earn.”

“They deserve. I deserve it.”

“The p:>ssy grabbing will begin in ten minutes. I am coming for you, Anderson Cooper.”