Arkansas Governor Okays Assault Rifles In Kindergartens & Churches

Kindergarten just got serious. Next time Mrs.Killgallen instructs her kindergarten class to put their heads down they will put their damn heads down and like it. Arkansas governor Asa Hutchinson decided enough was enough. If Pastor Ryan of First Baptists wants to open a can of whupass on an unbeliever or Little Holly doesn’t buy into the status quo and toe the 1plus 1 equals two line then all they have to do is reach for their trusty AK 47 or Klasnikov.

“We feel it is the right of every preschool to defend themselves against possible Isis infiltration.” Hutchinson¬†noted at the bill’s signing party, where he then drew and shot to death a peaceful protester. “If he had half a brain, he’d thank me for shooting him.”

This come as a part of much larger initiative. Hutcherson plans to undertake. Titled “Project Eat Lead, Bitch,” Hutcherson hopes to have guns and surface to air missile capabilities available for every senior citizen in his state by the end of the year. As well, he has several bills in the state senate that would given doctors the ability to commit surgical bombing runs against targets half way across the world and qualified Baptists Rnuclear capabilities.

“It is only then,” Hutcherson noted in a whistle stop speech to promote the bill. “can the ¬† average American feel safe in his house.”