If you’re a woman, blonde, pretty and have large breasts and are willing to get spanked when your male supervisor gives you dictation, then Fox News is the ideal workplace for you. This may come as a surprise to many people, given the recent scandal that has the network and its biggest star, Bill O’Reilly, mired deep in controversy. However, a recent survey by Fox News finds that “Fox Female News Anchor” ranks first in pay, health care coverage and third in number of times told to “Suck it, b@tch, trailing only porn actresses and professional athletes.
Still, in spite of the facts being bandied about like a Fox News female reporter at a Christmas party (envious much Anderson Cooper?), Fox News’ alternative facts poll show quite clearly that Fox News is the number one choice for large breasted blonde chicks…I mean female reporters with no gag reflux…I mean eager strong, confident ladies looking to grab Bill O’Reilly’s dick or an opportunity, whichever presents itself first (No guessing which one does;).
Another poll by Fox News found that career opportunities for female reporters at Fox News had far greater opportunities for advancement than did the ones at CNN, MSNBC or any other network, except Breitbart.com, of course. With a president more than eager to maintain an open relationship with the media, female reporters with shapely figures, pleasing faces and a can do attitude, can find unlimited chances for advancement.
Fox News, we distort and decide.