Trump White House Excludes “Fake Newsmakers” From Press Briefing

In an effort to crack down on certain news media outlets who have been labeled as spreading “Fake News,” the Trump White House took the extraordinary step of excluding those agencies from press briefings.

While the motivation for this move is unclear, the thought behind the action is even less so. After all, if the other outlets are anything like LBJ’s Bathroom Reader, they don’t need to be in attendance to make up the news. I mean, a 40 yr old with a computer and an internet hook up is as capable of making up news just as easily and cheaper than Anderson Cooper. Sources report that is why God gave us an imagination.

LBJ’s Bathroom Reader visited CNN for a comment. We were met by anchor Erin Burnett and she admitted she read our site everyday and was immediately struck by how smart and funny we were. Dumbstruck by our dashingly handsome Johnny Depp-esque good looks, Ms. Burnett invited the team home with her.

See? Although you may not believe this, because of how well the piece was written, but no one from LBJ’s Bathroom Reader has ever met Ms. Burnett. Although we are dashingly handsome and Ms. Burnett would be putty in our hands, like all women are(Again, made up), the piece took all of five seconds to make up and we didn’t have to deal with Sean Spicer’s grumpy ass.